The sea is usually so nice this time of year. It’s calm and cool as I swim from place to place. Not today though, the sea is rough and stormy. It’s pushing me around and making it almost impossible for me to move the way I want to. I really hate when it’s like this, it makes swimming so much more difficult.

I’m doing my usual route with the boat from Joppa to Tarshish because it’s always entertaining to see the things the sailors throw overboard. You should see some of the stuff, especially today. I’m just swimming along next to the boat when they toss a man overboard! Without even thinking I swallowed him whole. What were they thinking? What was I thinking?

This is by far the grossest thing I have ever experienced. There is a live person inside of me moving around. I’ve swallowed fish whole before, but never anything this big. How am I supposed to get rid of this man inside of me? I once heard of a whale vomiting on command. I guess I’ll attempt the same and it will come out eventually. Until then I guess I should keep swimming and looking for more items to come overboard.

He tried talking today. He’s in my stomach and he’s trying to talk. That’s so disgusting, how did he talk without getting all of my stomach acid in his mouth? He talked for a long time...he’s praying I think. I heard the word’s Lord and God a few times but it’s really muffled by my stomach so I can’t really hear exactly what he’s saying.

Within minutes after that I feel myself swimming towards the shore about to be sick. Yes! This is exactly what I’ve been waiting for. I’ll finally be free of this man in my stomach. I just barely made it to dry land and vomit him out onto the shore. I immediately swim away and vow to myself to never think of this disturbing incident again.